i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
