yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
