yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
