Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize