he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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