Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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