How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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