no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
