Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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