i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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