This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
never play flip cup with pint glasses
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
