tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
