you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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