This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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