Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
