he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
