remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
