U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
