Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
