i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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