didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I enjoy the company of your penis
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
