Non-Jews are for practice
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
