nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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