im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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