I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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