Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
