All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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