The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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