I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
