So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize