How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
