They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize