normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
