omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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