I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
