So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
