Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
