We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
