i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
