Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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