Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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