...so i touched it.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
