i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
