Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
