So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
