Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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