Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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