I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
