So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
