It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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