who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whod you bang
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize