did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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