he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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