if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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