Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
