I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
