i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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