Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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