dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
someone owes me an orgasm
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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