I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
