She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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