Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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